It’s OK To Have A Moment!
Life is Hard - Just Like it Always Was! - Dolly Parton
Being a Life Coach and Thrive Consultant it’s important that I look for the positives in my own life - but it might seem from the outside that everything is always rosy and I never have one of those days! I wanted to write a blog to just talk a bit about the fact that life is still life and everyone is entitled to have a moment .. or two .. or three.
It’s all Happening at Once.
You know those days when as soon as you open your eyes you just know it’s not starting well - maybe you have been up in the night with the kids, you have a list to do as long as your arm, in fact better start writing it on a roll of kitchen paper. You’re out of milk , the traffic is bad and then nothing you do is good enough. It’s all very well for us life coaches to say you need to breath and smile through it all , floating above the stress and oblivious to that feeling building up of either causing some bodily harm to a certain someone or needing to empty a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. - the fact is I get that and with everything going on it happens quite often on occasion. I am for sure prone to having a moment !
But it’s all Spiralling !!
When you get ‘one of those days’ a weird thing starts to happen - the stuff starts to build up and it seems as though everything is doomed. This is because you have now told your brain ‘it’s one of those days’.. and your looking for everything to back that up. Your hyper aware of the smallest thing - on a normal day it wouldn’t bother you that say you went all the way to the kitchen to get a spoon for your yoghurt and came back without it ( I do that a lot!) or that you got feedback on a piece of work with some ’ recommendations’ on what you could have done differently. But today .. OMG it’s one of those days!’ Every little thing starts to make your teeth itch. Your in the spiral loop.
Go With The Flow…and accept the emotional rollercoaster.
The key thing is to keep perspective and remember that these moments are just that.. they will pass. Sometimes they can last a few days and sometimes that hill can seem really steep to keep climbing. When I am like this the last thing I want is someone to say - ‘it’s OK don’t get wound up ..’ that just winds me up more! .. So the first thing is to accept the emotion - if your feeling irritated - feel it - if your feeling angry feel it. Who is to say you shouldn’t - remember about being in control of how we feel?
Find A Way Through
Once you have accepted the emotion look for what can empower you to get back on that even keel.
- List and review your achievements - although you have had a rough time there will be plenty of things to look back on in the positive categories.
- Have a rant and a vent - I am a big fan of this. I have people close to me who are more than happy to listen to me venting on - I don’t need anything more from them than an ear to bend once in a while - and sometimes for them to say - Stop it now !.
- Take yourself out of the situation - go for a walk , sit in a room - making a physical change in your surroundings can help shift your train of thought.
- Don’t over reach yourself - when times are like this don’t make great lists or your next plan of action which can then put pressure on yourself to handle even more stuff. - plus you might not be in the best frame of mind.
- Think ‘what will this feel like in 2 weeks time?’ - I know many people who have put off doing something or have felt as though things will never improve but as soon as they are 1 or 2 weeks down the road they are already making great progress and amazed at what they got through. I have been there myself and almost ( and I say almost) everything seems to be less difficult after a few days.
At the End of the Day - Eat the Ice Cream…
I guess though when all is said and done, what I am saying is it’s OK to have the moment, to feel the emotion and it’s OK to eat the ice cream, sitting on the floor in a big snotty mess of tears if that’s what it takes.. just as long as you get up, put your face on and remember that it’s just that .. a moment in time and it will pass ... and also remember that if you do eat the whole tub of Ben and Jerry’s you might as well put maltesers on top and dunk crisps in because the skinny jeans will be feeling tight in the morning anyway!.