Super Charge Your Self-Belief or Pure Procrastination or Doubting Thomas!You know that feeling – you have something you want to get done, you know it will be great when it’s achieved.. but you are distracted by just about anything that comes your way .. and you put your ‘thing’ to the back of the list.
You put it down to procrastination pure and simple and you know there are many reasons for this – it feels too big, too complicated, it’s not something you are overly interested in or the deadline just isn’t motivating
enough (I am really a last minute.com kind of girl and if the deadline is not totally urgent .. I am not #onit!). However what if it’s none of those things? What if you are letting self doubt in and it’s winning the battle over self belief .. could it be that feeling is actually the nagging worry in the back of you mind that says you might not be good enough.
Firstly let’s not panic.. This can happen to the best of us.
Imposter Syndrome is something often discussed at my groups – feeling as though you shouldn’t really be in the position you’re in.. And this from people who are excellent at what they do. But your self belief needs love and attention just like all other areas of your life – if you don’t review it, look after it and nurture it then it can easily start to feel a tad bruised..And this can affect the task at hand!
When you start to let doubt creep in it affects your productivity, your confidence and can impact the belief others have in you based on changed behaviours in yourself. – Because of course if you don’t believe you are cutting it then why should those you are looking to influence believe in you?. It can happen anytime – something is said, something catches in our mind and quietly the voices that live there start to give off that negative view. We know that when it comes to reality check and imagination… well imagination always wins that fight and it can build up quickly.
So when this happens it’s time to do your Self Belief Supercharge!Acknowledging Your Doubts is vital to getting your Self Belief back on track. It’s like Step 1 of an audit process – knowing that there is a problem and being able to embrace it.
We need to actually start to listen - to focus on that inner voice. You could spend time thinking about where it has come from – but it may not even be accessible to you and if you did pin it down you couldn’t change the event. You could also try to simply dismiss it and overlay it with a positive viewpoint but I can almost guarantee it will still be there like that sticky plaster that will cover for a while but it will quickly peel off … Better to put energy into changing it and to do that you need to listen to what is being said.
Think about the task you need to do and really embrace the feelings and thoughts that come to you so you have clarity on what is going on.
When we identify emotions being felt and define them it puts you in the driving seat. You are in control and you can start to have the conversation with yourself – yes that’s right – you are going to talk to yourself.
Because remember you are already being influenced by the voice (maybe voices) in your head – which although might have been allowed to begin by someone else are still actually just in your own mind – you are influencing yourself already and it’s time to challenge the inner you.
If you normally start with ‘Why’ as your question lead then I suggest swapping this for ‘What. ‘
‘Why’ can be very past focused and also can lead to subjective views whereas ‘What’ feels more directive and used in the right way is very future focused.
- What is happening right now with this task? (Review your reasons for not doing and the feelings and emotions you have)
- What would you say to someone who was having these doubts? (Put yourself in third person and look to coach yourself - we are very good at advising others- you can even use two chairs to swap through in order to really feel like the discussion is happening)
- What would happen if I completed this task? (Look at the end goal and really question What is the worst that could happen? – What is the best that could happen? – and actually is the worst anything like you initially imagined?)
- What evidence do I have that I am not good enough for this? ( most individuals find very little if no evidence for their doubts – question all the evidence that comes through – I bet there is very little tangible)
(My previous blog on ‘What’s the Best That Could Happen ‘may prove helpful here)
Now a great ‘Why’ question to bring in is ‘Why do I want to accomplish this? And unless you answer ‘well actually I don’t’ then this is often a great driver to pull it all together and remind yourself of the true purpose.
Supercharge Your Thinking!
This might sound odd but just focusing and writing down power words can flip your thinking into a positive mode. You could even think about super powers of super heroes and their abilities. Writing down powerful words and abilities (they are not about you and your abilities - just words in themselves) will enable you to get your brain switched over and start to release those feel good hormones and boost your self confidence.
Finally don’t forget that you can access previous experience of when you have done just brilliantly and remember always that the fact is you are wanting to get started, wanting to make a change, wanting to complete something and that is simply awesome in itself!
Now of course you must make a start.
The fact is Self Doubt can happen at any time – don’t wait for it to creep in. Super charge your self belief on regular basis, stay in control and keep focused on your results!