My end of year blog is normally a roundup of achievements and a list of what’s to come … this year I feel something different is needed and last night I got my inspiration …
For Christmas 2019 I was bought a beautiful journal. I adore stationary and always plan to keep a journal but for lots of reasons I tend to make a valiant start but after a few weeks my daily writing has dwindled.
For some reason this time it was different. I didn’t put pen to paper until the start of Feb 2020 and after a few false starts I found a rhythm which suited… every Sunday when my son is in the bath, I sit in the bedroom next door and capture my week. I have kept doing this every week for the last 22 months.
Last night I looked back through – curious to see what last years entry looked like and realising I was nearly 2 years into my weekly blog.
Little did I realise back in those first heady weeks of the new decade as I captured my positives and gratitude and planned of an exciting and filled year of events and achievements that this small journal would in fact become a place of comfort, a place that captured my personal journey through the COVID years, a place that now tells the story of a world we never imagined happening coming true.
It shows clearly how the relationship with myself ebbs and flows, how I like everyone else has days of feeling like they can take on the world and days when simply getting out of bed seemed impossible.
Hubby worked away each day throughout and in those days of shortages it was always a surprise when on his travels he had found some much loved food item.
I saw the entries when I was going to win at home schooling with the help of The Body Coach and his 9am work out for kids ( which were really hard btw!)…
The time when I queued for 45 minutes to just get into the butchers 6 doors up and how they had had to clear the shelves and start to allocate food on a per person basis because crazy people were trying to buy everything in one go… ( spirit of the blitz?)
How a couple of months in things were beginning to slide – thank the gods we had the best weather we ever had and that we were blessed to have our garden to sit in … because even the dog was sick of dog walks which were part of your mandatory and required daily allotted time out of your property.
To my full on melt down when I realised, I had never been designed to be a stay-at-home mum and Alfie Bear and I were fed up with each other, we simply couldn’t make anything else out of a toilet roll for craft time – (not that people had any due to madness buying )… I became ill with shingles ; my mum and stepdad were isolating with no access to video messenger, so phone calls were our only contact and life seemed pretty grim.
Then moments of happiness which we truly appreciated – that first trip away for the day to the quiet beach at Old Hunstanton – we didn’t go into the town or any of the attractions ( which were shut) but were happy to have our picnic in a secluded spot and paddle on the beach… and to all our lock down parties and events which hubby planned, 20’s night , new Years Eve pub crawl never actually leaving the house and everyone’s pinata’s and 70’s themed party buffets for birthdays.
Oh, huge thank you’s to those caterers that delivered home treats – nothing cheered you up like a box full of cakes or a posh ploughmans.
We really have made the best of it but never in my wildest dreams would I have imaged I would be here nearly two years later wondering if Christmas will be in lock down again.
And my relationship like so many of my clients continues to evolve as we navigate these ever-changing times. On the one hand I miss that super confident traveller whose diary was always full of places to be, chasing awards in business and planning new projects, and on the other hand I am I admit quite settled into a quieter life where working for the most, from home is now the norm and even trips out for coffee are a rare thing.
I do miss the spontaneity of simply getting up in the morning and deciding to go out for the day – booking is still very much needed, and I miss the freedom that my older children had growing up in comparison to the experience my son is having.
So, who knows what the New Year will bring – who knows what will be in place on 23rd March 2022 – 2 years on from the start of lockdown one… what I do know is that as a relationship therapist this ongoing global crisis is changing the landscape of relationships on a daily basis.
I have seen relationships taken at a much faster pace to ensure they are not separated by lock down laws.
I have seen couples valiantly re book their special day 3 , 4 times and stay strong to make that commitment to each other.
I have seen people broken by the anxiety of world they do not recognise
I have witnessed and experienced the grief of loss and separation from loved ones.
All I know for sure is that relationships will keep changing both with self and with those around us. Never has support been so important for people.
However, you are spending this season I hope you stay safe and healthy and happy, and I will see you all in 2022 … ready to face whatever it brings.
Love and Light and a Blessed Yule.
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