Blog

This is happening more and more in the therapy room … people going to their preferred AI system and asking them to confirm their thoughts and feelings or asking them to advise on what someone has said or what they should say back … Now honestly, I am late to the party – I’ve only […]

It happens … people think that they have stated their needs and wants … and are baffled when they feel it isn’t landing … but when we explore this further there is nearly always a good explanation for why – because the communication wasn’t actually communicated! The most common one is when someone just assumes […]

I posted recently about how many couples find themselves in difficulty when they forget to stay curious about each other. We get so caught up in our busy lives that we stop properly communicating. Not just the simple tasks but really getting interested in what is going on for each other. And this behaviour tends […]

If we can’t solve it, how can you help? Why therapy can often be the missing part of the puzzle. Many couples have 2 different approaches to therapy – one of them is keen to discuss things and get a different view on it. The other is hesitant, they feel that they should be able […]

A topic that often comes up between couples – mainly those in monogamous and closed relationships is how to handle feelings when their partner has contact with someone who is a potential ‘other person’ in the relationship. Maybe it is a long term friend , or someone they have just connected with , maybe they […]

In my latest newsletter I shared how instead of having those big goals and lists – I am embracing the concept of ‘ Going Little’. To make clear intentions of where I want to focus but not to fill my days with un needed pressure and constant striving. Going Little is all about focusing on […]

I’ve shared a few times that my favourite book is Wuthering Heights… and that I have at least 12 different copies of it and have read it multiple times.  Please note there is a spoiler alert in this blog… a big one ! What I have realised is that over the years both as I […]

Whenever I think of Joy now, I always picture the character from the Inside Out films. Always happy, always solving problems, always being there for others. To be honest she wasn’t my favourite – it seemed to be quite exhausting! More recently though I have been drawn to explore the concept of Joy and especially […]

So many discussions in recent sessions about having to step back and see your partner for who they are, right now. Of course, it doesn’t start like this – it starts with what they find annoying or upsetting about their partner.  … and I will say there is often a need for this behaviour to […]

When individuals or couples come into the clinic space to talk about relationships thank very often start by telling me all about the challenges they face with the other person or people. They talk about how the other person behaves and what they do and how that annoys them or frustrates them they talk about […]

I did a social media post recently on the concept of TMI in people’s relationships – which is ironic because I think due to social media, we have a case of TMI. But here’s my thoughts all the same. It seems that we have very few boundaries in place nowadays. And this leads to conflict […]

This always feels a tad controversial because we so often hear about controlling partners and looking for those red flags… but quite often when we do some self-reflecting, you might realise that you are actually controlling your partner. Whilst a controlling partner will often deliberately put obstacles in place everyone of us will have some […]