Love Languages- Are You Speaking the Same Language?

It’s a common theme in the clinic room –

  • They don’t show they love me
  • They don’t listen
  • I don’t feel appreciated!

It’s a communication breakdown – but strangely enough talking may not be enough. Because communication is so much more than conversation!

While it may sound a bit cliché there is actually a set of love languages – and the science shows that how people like to give and receive validation in their relationship differs. So when you aren’t looking for the clues you might be missing a lot !

The 5 official types are:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Gifts
  • Physical Touch
  • Quality Time

So, whilst you aren’t feeling heard and your partner doesn’t tell you they love you – those cups of tea and the hot water bottle in the bed for your feet – that may be exactly what they are saying.

Of course it’s never that easy and when communication breaks down talking really is needed on both sides.

It doesn’t help either that how we like to express love may not be how we like to receive it.

So I always ask my couple to start thinking about this for themselves and to think about what they have noticed or observed in the past about their partner.

  • Does your partner like to hold hands, or touch you on the shoulder, or sit close to have physical contact?
  • Do they become low or frustrated when you don’t get to spend time with each other?
  • Are they the one who remembers to put that hot water bottle in the bed or hangs up the shirt each night for your morning routine?

I have to say with my husband he is totally not a words man – it’s acts of service and gifts – often I will see something on our travels and months later at birthday or Christmas it will be there waiting for me to open 😊

I know for me quality time is really important and so ensure that gets scheduled in!

I am always saying that the biggest impact on a relationship is complacency so being aware of how to show and receive that validation is vital!

Take some time to think , observe and then see how you can communicate in different ways and build that connection in your relationship.

To help communication I have launched my Jungian Archetypes just for couples 🙂

Why not order yours and see what going on between you ?

Simply click on the link and scroll down to select the Couples Jungian from the drop down.

Start the conversation !

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