Time to rethink ‘self belief’

I think we have all heard the phrase I want to build or grow my self-belief. The phrase that describes how individuals want to increase their sense of wellbeing and the way they see themselves but here’s the thing.

So, they work on their positive mindset, they set the affirmations in place , they visualise what self-belief will look like and think about as almost as if they are wanting to go the petrol station and fill up the tank.

So why then do so many people struggle to make this an actual reality?

Why do we still fall back on doubts and find ourselves falling back into old habits, old conversations with ourselves and in some cases self-sabotaging the very improvement we are desperate to see happen.

Well, what happens to the water when you pour it into a cup that’s already full ?

It’s spills over … some gets mixed in a bit but the liquid fights with each other to make space and a lot just gets lost – this is generally when you simply stop pouring. You can’t fill up a cup that’s already full to the brim … you got make some space !

And so, the thing is …we all have self-belief and it’s already rooted deep and growing strong. The term self-belief is not attached to either negative or positive it is simply the label we give to how we feel about ourselves and which believes we already have.

Which means that if you have self-belief which is not working in your favour – you can’t simply try and push it out of the way . Believes can be created at a very early age – they can be based on what you think is very strong evidence and it is what you think is right – so you are always searching for more evidence to back up your ‘rightness’.

I love all analogies about nature – we are course part of it ourselves. So, think of self-belief as lots of different plants. Some are beautiful and shin bright and reach high, others are rooted deeply but ground dwellers , curling around and strangling everything else. Any seeds which are planted near this type growth will stand little chance of taking bloom.

Which best describes your self – belief?

Like all plants ( weeds) that we wish to remove you have to get deep beneath the surface – pull it out from the roots. Clear the space , empty the cup…and then you can start to plant your new crop, nurture it and see it reach great heights.

So be honest with yourself – what have you got growing in your garden for your sense of self and what work needs to be done in order to prune it back and bring in the colour.

In my next blog I will be sharing the 4 Pillars of Self that I use with clients to help them uncover the assumptions and beliefs they hold – and which serve them well and which could do with some pulling up from the roots!

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