Dating in a Whole New World!

.. plus a few insights into my on line dating experience !

Dating today is a lot different to when I first dated. And even though I did meet my now husband online it was over 14 years ago when there were just a few sites and people still actually met in person as well!

The days are gone it seems of going out, seeing someone you like, getting up the courageous to approach them, make a first move at seeing if they like you etc .. the shouting in someone’s ear at the night club or the ‘can I buy you a drink’ line are really not so much part of the dating scene.

Everything now is on- line – and people make split decisions based very much on immediate thoughts of looks … swiping right or left in an instant. So, if you do manage to get passed that first part how does you ensure you attract the right kind of person?

I joke with hubby that as I was a paid-up member – I bought a product and whilst that is a joke in this day and age it feels very much like that’s a fact!

Here’s a few things to bear in mind when putting that profile out there.

Be really specific about what you want in a person and why.
Have a list of questions that you can ask when you first make contact that will help you see if this person really works for you.
Don’t focus on what you think other people are looking for – if you aren’t yourself it will show through really quickly.
Be honest about yourself – your likes and dislikes.
Use current photos which really show who you are – a mixture of fun, serious, hobbies etc.

Then something I learned is you need to commit to filtering! I went from being super excited about getting a date after quite a lot of messaging – agreed to travel a bit further than I wanted, gave up a whole evening – only to realise quickly that the person wasn’t for me and wasn’t like their profile at all.

After a while I realised, I needed to switch things up. Messaging just enough to see if I liked them and they liked me then get a meet up in. If they were cautious about meeting for too long, then I figured there was something else going on. Meeting during the day for coffee rather than an evening meal meant you had less time given up and a better chance of leaving politely – plus honestly you can also filter a few in one afternoon.

Be prepared for lots of first dates and not many 2^nds.

I also learned that:

Many people aren’t clear about their intentions.
Many people don’t look like their photos.
There was nothing personal in someone not wanting to see me again and certainly the same in reverse!

Thankfully after a few months of committed filter dating I met hubby and honestly, he was the only one I actually worried about him wanting to meet up again! 14 years on the product is still very much what I purchased: 😊

Aside from all of this please do remember to stay safe – I feel that internet dating has also increased chances of risk in some ways so always tell someone where you are, have a code text for someone to call you so you can leave and always meet in a public place.

It can help to really discover who you are when you step into the dating world – My Reconnect Your Life 121 programme can help you do this and my on line version is now at an amazing offer of just £99! – Use code QPY0S4LRCS when you purchase the full set of modules to work through at your own pace and get life time access 🙂 – simply click here to sign up

And for support in all relationship why not book a free initial consultation at a time to suit you. https://calendly.com/bemooretherapy/discovery-call