Let’s Talk About It!

It been a real theme since the start of the year – couples/ relationships who feel uncomfortable talking to their partner about their intimate needs.

And they are not alone!

42% of individuals who were asked if they could have these kind of conversations stated they didn’t feel about to really talk about it.  … but some of them were able to share with their best friends.

And I bet some of you are even feeling a bit ‘hmm’ about reading this blog!

But let’s think about this – you choose to be someone , who share your most intimate moments with them, you set up your life with them , but you can’t say what you like , dislike etc – because you feel embarrassed or worry they will judge you or simply don’t know where to start.

Tammie Nelson is an wonderful relationship therapist and in one of her teaching videos she says that you should feel so comfortable with your partner – so at ease and able to express yourself that the morning after you might even feel a bit ‘oh wow did I really try that!’

Know I’m not saying you need to have a booked in full on discussion about things but being able to talk about sex with your partner – talk about your intimate relationship is part of a healthy setting and can be liberating and also increase your feeling of security – that trust in them that you share this only with them .

Often it falls into 2 categories.

• You want to try something different or new but feel you can’t bring the subject up.
• You don’t like something but don’t want to hurt their feelings.

Getting started on this style of conversation helps to take small steps.

• ‘I really like it when you … ‘– giving that positive reinforcement of something already accepted between you both.
• Taking the lead by actions and gently introducing something different and then saying how much you enjoyed it afterwards.
• Being brave and asking your partner/ partners what they enjoy and then reciprocating the conversation.
• You can even buy different packs of cards which have questions on them to get the conversation going.

Not everyone is a talker that’s for sure … but so often it can really help in your intimate moments.

So have a think about what’s on your mind, and what’s stopping you from sharing – then take a deep breath and as the song says – Let’s talk about it!  

You can now join my free FB group In the Relationship Arena’ – a safe place to get curious, learn and connect.

The Relationship Arena | Facebook

And for support in your relationships why not book a free discovery call and see how I can help