As many of you know these last few weeks have been tough. After a very short illness my mum passed over just 2 weeks ago and it has had a huge impact on us as a family. She was a massive part of our world and played an important part in the roles of bringing up all her grandchildren. In time I imagine I will blog about my own experience of this grief but not yet.
However what it has done has made me really think about the relationship people have with therapy and start to re question why people are still often wary of seeking help from a therapist and of course speaking about it to others.
Here’s my thoughts :
These first three I feel are quite well known..
- There is still a stigma that having therapy means you have something seriously wrong with you and potentially you are not coping with life – therefore what impact would this have on you as a person, a parent or in your working life.
- People are worried that even if they aren’t aware of something traumatic happening to them we will seek it out and find it – after all if you need therapy something must be really wrong right?
- They think therapy will be painful and emotional and will last for a long time – lying on a coach and sobbing into tissues.
But I have started to think that this next one is also playing a part.
4. – That therapy must be deep and meaningful and spiritual experience – that it needs you to step into a world of channelling your inner best self, searching for true purpose and meaning and being open to things you may have no experience of – such as meditation and spiritual healing.
The internet is full of adverts and posts which seem to promote the idea that unless you are actively seeking your Inner Goddess you will never reach that higher plain and never have true healing – and this can feel overwhelming and scary and for many people bear no relevance to their everyday life.
Because for most people life is happening right now! – it’s doing chores, it’s getting up and going to work, it’s enjoying a drink with friends and a take away in the evenings. it’s full of mundane stuff – it has high’s and lows and sometimes adventures but often it stays the same for long periods of time on end.
We can spend so much time searching for something different – looking for where we need to be that we simply stop being in the moment right now and life passes us by. My mum led a simple life – shopping at Morrisons, Sunday Lunch at the garden centre and picking up the kids from school. But she would for sure say her life had purpose – it was what it was and it was enough.
Often people benefit from therapy not because of some deep trauma but simply because they are feeling a bit low with life , even more so in these COVID years – just a bit lost with themselves.
And yes, you can have deep experiences in therapy – it can be life changing – but also please remember it can just be a safe place to speak and be heard – and sometimes that is all people need. With nothing huge to disclose – not dark secrets to uncover – and real need to make extensive change to your world.
We are humans – we are messy and difficult, and life can be too. We don’t need to always strive for our #bestself or #blessed – we won’t always being #livingourbestlife … and very few will end up sitting on a beach racking in a 6-figure income – but life can still be wonderful and purposeful in its most simplest forms.
So if you just want somewhere to have chat – to clear your head – to feel there is somewhere you can be heard – then get in touch and see if you can change your relationship with yourself and your relationship with therapy.
A bit of a poem from me 🙂
‘Bit stressed ?
Relationship gone west?
No longer feeling# blessed?
Lost interest and taken to going out in leggings and a vest?
Trying your best but need somewhere to breathe?
Or maybe just get something off your chest?
Well – pull up a chair and be my guest! ‘
Traditional talking therapy ( cuppa optional) – a safe space for you to be heard in all things relationship.