Turning 50 – My Changing Self Relationship

I turned 50 in June … it was a big one.

That’s what everyone says – ooh it’s a big birthday and I admit I had lots of thoughts about it.

When I turned 40, I was excited! I had a big party – 40’s themed. I was at my best self-health wise having not missed a beat on nutrition and exercise for 6 months leading up to it and I was living my best life with aa well paid senior job, global travel, children being independent and a long-term partner in my life 😊

The last 10 years have simply flown by – I cannot still believe it’s 10 years on from there!

So much has changed – I am now married to said person – we have a 9 year old son, I run my own successful private practise, wrote a book, launched a foundation, trained as a spiritual celebrant , we moved into our beautiful cottage and renovated it.. so now I think was I living my best life then or now?

And of course, it got me thinking about that most important relationship – the one with myself.

Health wise it’s been ups and down – up until 3 years go aside from when I was literally like a hippo at the end of my pregnancy, I remained super active.

Then shingles happened in the COVID era – of course that happened as well in my list – and that was an experience in itself! And the ongoing effects from that have meant it’s been harder to maintain that sense of health I had. Some days are really painful nd there was a time I had to relearn how to use my left arm due to severe nerve damage.

I will admit that I have said a lot in recent years – ooh I am feeling my age now!

Plus my mum passed over very suddenly 2 years go – she went from being a really fit nd in my eyes young 77 to looking like an old lady overnight and to not being here – I honestly thought before I would have here around for another 15 – 20 years at least – nd of course that gets you thinking .. that’s only 27 years away from me …

So, turning 50 brought a lot up for me and I know it does for many. It got me questioning where I m and how I am with myself nd others.

I don’t think I have finished thinking about this yet – I can say it’s feels liberating to reach half a century – I feel blessed to have got here. I know many people in my life who have not.

I know I feel happier just being – no longer chasing excitement, feeling t peace with life being day to day – stepping way from any drama.

I know I love things I never expected in my younger day – who knew my new allotment garden would bring me such joy – who knew I could think that a river cruise might be fabulous (I think it would – Saga here I come!)

I spend time with people that matter to me, I stay in my lane and worry less about others’ opinions unless they are in my circle.

Overall, I don’t think I am doing bad at 50 – I inherited my mum’s great skin and on a good day can still get into my size 12 jeans I bought at least 10 years ago and pre last baby. On other days it’s yoga leggings and kaftan which is also good.

And now I start on the journey to the next Big one – is that 55 or do we wait until 60?

I believe it will fly by again and what will life be like then?

The relationship with self is every changing – it’s good to stop and think, to accept what’s going on and remember that each day is a gift.

For support in your relationships with self or others please do get in touch


or join my FB group Living and Loving

Living and Loving Your Life! | Facebook

Bright Blessings Ali

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