Whenever I think of Joy now, I always picture the character from the Inside Out films. Always happy, always solving problems, always being there for others. To be honest she wasn’t my favourite – it seemed to be quite exhausting!
More recently though I have been drawn to explore the concept of Joy and especially what this means in our relationships.
After a long period of feeling unwell I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. I had very little information at the beginning, but I can say that when I researched, I found a vital missing piece of information in my puzzle of life.
For no tangible reason over the past few months, I had felt lacklustre about most things. I couldn’t place it – everything was good … it was only after I started treatment that I realised the emotion that was missing was that of Joy.
Until I re-discovered it, I hadn’t placed it was not there.
And so, my Joy journey has begun. I reflected on the many clients I see and started to notice links – those that still saw joy in their relationships either with self or their partner were able to move forward more easily than those that had lost it.
I realised Joy was different to being happy or being grateful or noticing positives – 3 of the things as therapists we often ask clients to list as they begin healing.
Joy is an internal feeling – a knowing within you. It can be elicited from an external experience but it’s a clear emotive reaction to that experience.
I started to look for what we call glimmers – the opposite of triggers – those tiny things in everyday life that lifted me to experience joy.
And with the re-introduction of this emotion into my life I started to notice impacts on my motivation, my ability to complete tasks, my desire to do things … joy appears to me to be a natural antidote for apathy.
I have started to ask clients to share with each other what brings them joy in the relationship – something which often has never been spoken about.
Here are some examples which I was told –
-It brings me joy when you choose to sit and talk with me about your day – and no device is in sight.
-It brings me joy when I watch you play with the children.
– It brings me joy when you always remember to say hello and give me a kiss when you come back home.
For me in my day-to-day life I have noticed these examples of joy for myself.
- I felt joy when took my cup of tea to drink outside in the sun for the first time in months.
- I felt joy when completed a PB at the gym.
- I felt joy when I simply finished my day and sat down with my feet up.
- I felt joy watching a nature documentary about the rare Pangolin – in fact this is when my husband noticed I was lighter than before as I spent quite a lot of time saying, ‘oh my look at the pangolin!’
So, my ask to you is to start noticing your joy glimmers, the world can seem quite a dark place at times and so noticing joy, creating it and being in it seems more important than ever.
If you want to join a community focused on joyful relationships including then one with yourself please do join my free fb group (4) The Joy Arena | Facebook
And you can see what brings me joy on my sister page in Instagram – @alimoorelife – where I share regular visuals of what glimmers are shining for me.
Also don’t forget if you need support in any of your relationships – love, life and business please do book a free initial consult via the link. https://calendly.com/bemooretherapy/discovery-call
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