Category: Relationship Audit

So many discussions in recent sessions about having to step back and see your partner for who they are, right now. Of course, it doesn’t start like this – it starts with what they find annoying or upsetting about their partner.  … and I will say there is often a need for this behaviour to […]

When individuals or couples come into the clinic space to talk about relationships thank very often start by telling me all about the challenges they face with the other person or people. They talk about how the other person behaves and what they do and how that annoys them or frustrates them they talk about […]

This always feels a tad controversial because we so often hear about controlling partners and looking for those red flags… but quite often when we do some self-reflecting, you might realise that you are actually controlling your partner. Whilst a controlling partner will often deliberately put obstacles in place everyone of us will have some […]

Conflict or Rupture is a part of all relationships – no one has a relationship that never needs some attention. If conflict feels too big a word think more about debate, discussion, difference of ideas or wants or needs. For the most part it happens organically – people can often find themselves in the middle […]

Compromise makes a relationship right? Well not for me. I don’t like let alone love compromise and here’s why … It sounds negative. It sounds like 1 person has needed to give something up. And I know from sessions it can often be seen this way as well. ‘I’m always having to compromise’ is a […]

This is another new word coming into fashion especially in our more open relationship world… but really it can apply to any agreement or commitment so firstly what exactly is micro cheating? Micro cheating is when you do something small that breaks the rules of engagement … when you do something which you know your […]

So much is being talked about in the open relationship space  … the term consensual non monogamy or the new monogamy – throuples, pods, polyamorous – it’s all happening – but what does it mean nd how do you get t started exploring this. So, let’s start with the clear difference about what happens when […]

I had a really interesting conversation with a friend the other day. She mentioned how for many of her friends’ intimacy between them and their partner didn’t really happen. And when it did it felt like a chore – they would do it once a month to get it over with, they never wanted to […]

This weekend was my birthday weekend, and I am very blessed to have a husband who aways puts a lot of thought into what to do and what to get. In return I do the same – although honestly, I feel I am much easier to buy for than him – but that’s another blog […]

Red Flags – these are behaviours / actions / traits in people that are really to help us filter in and out people – and to think about whether to proceed with caution! They can be very personal to you and not so serious or they can be real warning signs. These more serious red […]

I have spoken a number of times about how the self-relationship is key when understanding your relationship with others. Not just from a how you were brought up and how your idea of relationships was shaped but how you feel about yourself. That feeling can change on a regular basis and sometimes there can be […]

Such an interesting phrase I came across lately. It was referenced by the fabulous Dr Tammy Nelson and of course it is not just marriage but referring to long term relationships (LTR’s) in general. When it says practise it doesn’t mean you are on a trial run – although there is a view form those […]